When I tell people I have three daughters I often get a shocked, I feel kind of sorry for you look and then the response I’ve received countless times, “Good luck with the teen years!”
Thankfully I don’t get offended when people say this to me because now that I have a teenager, a pre-teen and a six-year-old (going on sixteen), I totally understand where they’re coming from!
Coincidently, one of the reasons I began this blog is because my teenage and adolescent years were difficult to navigate… to say the least! I was the epitome of insecure and as my parents recall, I wasn’t the easiest to deal with. I was most definitely the black sheep of the family! Sadly, my low self-esteem and lack of self-worth continued on a downward spiral well into my early twenties.
I`m happy to say I`ve found my sense of self and that today, I’m far more confident. This self-work, however, took 34 years and I still have days when “the not good enough” voices try to creep their way back into my head and make me feel like I did when I was younger.
Self-love is a life-long practice!
When the “not enough” voices try to creep back in, I often think of my three daughters. I think about the fact that I would never want them to listen to negative voices. This helps me tell the negative voices in my head to take a hike!
But it isn’t always easy.
I’m not perfect, and you know what? I think it’s ok for my daughters to see this.
Rather than telling my daughters, they shouldn’t feel a certain way about themselves, I think I would rather share with them that I’ve felt this way too. I think it’s imperative to let them know they’re not alone, and then find ways I can help them overcome whatever area in their life they may feel they’re lacking confidence in.
Dove has helped women feel confident in their skin for over a decade! I’ve always loved their body positive messaging!
In fact, I worked with the Dove Self-Esteem Project last year when I hosted an #InspireConfidence workshop in my home with my daughter’s friends and some of their moms. It is one of my biggest highlights and fondest memories since I began my blog, and my girls had so much fun too!
For this reason, they were happy when I told them we would be trying a different Dove Self-Esteem Project activity!
My daughter’s self-esteem
I would love to tell you because I’m an advocate for positive well-being that the result is my daughters are always 100% confident, but the truth is, this isn’t the case. Our youngest daughter is always pretty confident, but my older two daughters, they have their adolescent struggles.
For example, my oldest daughter is a full-grown teenager who is currently facing some challenges when it comes to taking care of herself. She tends to put her peers before her assignments and has become the go-to girl for advice when there`s drama. She’s helpful, and empathetic and has always been very socially confident but she is constantly attached to her phone and finds it hard to disconnect from everything that’s going on with her peers. This, in turn, has made it difficult for her to get her priorities in place.
I’ve been a bit concerned that my daughter’s lack of self-care is beginning to affect her self-esteem. I try to stress to her the importance of putting herself first but after a while, I just sound like a nag, and it goes in one ear and out the other.
My second daughter is an active 10-year-old tween who strives to get the perfect grades. She’s very kind, compassionate, and sentimental but she’s also a shy, introvert who tends to be very hard on herself. She gets performance anxiety before tests and often cries after sports games if she feels she didn’t do well enough. This happens mostly when she has an audience she knows. But it breaks my heart when I see her like this!
My third daughter is a strong-willed, outspoken, confident 6-year-old. She’s always dancing like no one’s watching and cracks everyone up with her shameless dance moves. She’s very comfortable in her skin.
In fact, the other day when her sister was having some public speaking anxiety (she was worried because another girl was speaking on the same topic) her words of advice were, “Don’t worry, Nyomi. You be you, and let them be them.”
My hope for all three of my girls is that they always follow this advice from their youngest sister!
Unfortunately, the reality is, hoping isn’t enough. And this is exactly why I’m grateful for initiatives such as the Dove Self-Esteem Project that give women, mothers, and young girls the tools to overcome self-doubt and increase self-confidence.
Dove Self-Esteem Project’s daily confidence reminders helped my daughters celebrate themselves
Every day for two weeks my daughters wrote something to celebrate themselves on a Dove decal which can be downloaded here.
They taped the decals to places they could see them, such as their agendas, the back of their phone, the bathroom mirror, lunch kits and more.
Each day I would ask them if they paid attention to the positive affirmations they made. They said they noticed them and they liked seeing such positive reminders of the things in their life they were happy to celebrate.
My eldest daughter had the words inner strength slid inside her phone case. It was one of her favorite affirmations because she said it helped her remind herself to have the strength to say no to things she didn’t want to do and to say yes to herself more! She was also very excited to celebrate her year-end musical theater performance. When she’s doing musical theater she’s the happiest. She worked hard all year for her big role in her year-end production.
My middle daughter taped some of her affirmations to her bed frame, in her agenda, on her notebooks, the bathroom mirror and more. When I asked her how she felt after celebrating herself every day with a daily affirmation she said she liked seeing the reminders especially the “not worrying” one. She said the one she taped on the bathroom mirror was the one she saw the most and said she liked putting the positive affirmations in that spot.
Lastly, my third daughter loved putting her positive affirmations in the most random spots including her forehead! If the tape didn’t keep falling off I’m pretty sure she would have walked around school all day with it on. She cracks me up!
In all seriousness, I think she loved the affirmations the most! She woke up eager every morning to write out a new one and loved showing people when they came over. She explained they were there to help her love herself. *insert heart melting*
Although the girls aren’t running around and saying this was a life-changing experience that made them feel more confident and capable. The positive affirmations they wrote every day for two weeks, subconsciously reminded them just how special, unique, capable and confident they truly are!
Every word and thought we have is some type of affirmation. This is why it’s crucial to tell ourselves things that are positive and uplifting. Essentially this internal dialogue is creating how we feel about our life experiences and more importantly, ourselves!
Thank You, Dove, for helping millions of girls build their self-esteem for the past 10 years!
You can help #InspireConfidence in young girls too by downloading resources like the one we used here.
Let’s keep helping girls build their self-esteem. Give your daughter this printable decal as a daily reminder to stay confident.
Step 1: Put it somewhere she’ll see it every day.
Step 2: Every day for 2 weeks, help her write something to celebrate herself.
Step 3: Share her daily confidence reminders with #InspireConfidence and see how easy it is to help girls start feeling more confident.
60% of girls worldwide feel their body confidence is holding them back. 10 years ago, Dove began a mission to do something about it.
Many years ago I was a girl who didn’t know how to love myself.
Today, I love myself, and I’m a proud mom of three girls who I hope will always love themselves too!
Available at Real Canadian Superstore, Loblaws, Zehrs, Fortinos and Atlantic Superstore or for convenient pick up here.
Disclosure: This post is part of the YummyMummyClub.ca and the Dove 10 Years of Beauty #InspireConfidence sponsored program. I received compensation as a thank you for my participation. This post reflects my personal opinion about the information provided by the sponsors.