My baby sister and best friend are expecting their first babies and are engaged. I’m so incredibly excited that they will be venturing into motherhood. It’s also pretty awesome that they are great friends and they have been experiencing this amazing nine months of pregnancy together. One has a craving, calls the other up, and they are off to the only Krispy Kreme doughnut shop around. They are having baby showers, choosing strollers, planning their nurseries and of course anticipating their babies arrivals.
I know that these expecting moms are preparing for their babies arrival in every possible way. Their cribs are set up and they envision their babies sleeping peacefully in their decorated nurseries, peaking over the edge for a picture perfect moment. Their strollers are ready and they day-dream of long walks together with their babies, bassinets facing forward so they don’t have to take their eyes off of the precious humans they created. I’m pretty sure they can’t wait to hold, sniff,stare and rock their babies all day long.
For a long time I was the only one out of our group of friends that had children. I always felt so blessed to have friends that treat my children like their own. My best friend and baby sister are the BEST aunties to my daughters. But being an aunty is a completely different responsibility. They have watched me raise my daughters and they have seen the highs and lows of parenting. However, auntie is a very different role and becoming a parent will bring on a whole new perspective.
My best friend watched me moisturize once and couldn’t stop laughing at the way that I moisturized my body. I didn’t think that I moisturized funny. What the hell was so funny? She laughed saying that she never,ever saw somebody moisturize their body so fast. She was right. It was pretty fast. And it was pretty funny when I though about it. I was at her place getting ready, with out kids around. Yet I was moisturizing like a baby was going to suddenly start screaming or a toddler was going to need me to rush them to the potty.
Parenting did this to me, I no longer stood in the bathroom moisturizing my entire body in a gentle, circular motion. It was more like the amazing race. Slab it on, and rub it in easy to reach places, and my feet, well forget about those! And this rushed feeling didn’t only happen to me while I was moisturizing. It was happening in all areas of my life. Every single day, regardless of where I was or what I was doing, I was in a rush. And sometimes this rushed, hectic feeling takes over still today. For example, when I’m getting the girls ready for school in the morning or I’m racing to pick one up from lessons in order to get the other to her lessons, all while dragging the youngest around,AND I still need to get to a grocery store. “We’re going to be late” and “we don’t have time for that” have become sentences used frequently in my household. No amount of preparation during pregnancy prepares you for the fast paced time travel that you feel when you become a parent.
My sis and BFF will master my super fast moisturizing skills, as well as maybe even putting a diaper on their babies at a restaurant with out a change table, and they might have to deal with a tantrum in a store. They will master all of these things and become pro-multi taskers. I have no doubt that they will be super parents.
I hope that my BFF and sister recall the way I was laughed at when I moisturized. When they find themselves in that same rush slapping on the moisturizer. I hope they remember that caring for themselves even, if that means lathering the moisturizer on and taking an extra few minutes out to hydrate their skin, is important. And the guilt that they both will feel anytime they feel like they need that extra five minutes in the bathroom, or the shirt at the store, time alone, or with friends, will take over.I hope they try to overcome the guilt and remember that being a mom doesn’t define them. Their will be days that being a parent will feel overwhelming and they will lack patience and its all worth it.
They are going to get a million pieces of all kinds of advice from everyone, even strangers. So I might as well offer them some too;) My advice to them is do what feels right and works for YOU and YOUR family. SLOW DOWN, and enjoy every moment with your little ones, they grow so unbelievably fast. And don’t forget to take the time to moisturize because as soon as you become a parent, the clock ticks at a faster pace. Before you know it a decade flies by,and a decade without moisturizer is straight up rough! Ask for help when you need it. Because just like Charlotte in the Sex and the City movie, if you try to be the perfect parent, and are afraid to ask for any help, you will end up crying alone in a closet. We all know that crying to a friend feels much better, and I hope they know that they can cry to me any day, because I will totally understand.
I am so excited for their babies arrival, but the truth is I’m more excited to watch them love their own children. It’s an unconditional love that can’t be explained, only felt. Their hearts will melt each and every time they look at their children and they will feel emotions that they never knew existed. I can’t wait.