Sisterly advice

My baby sister and best friend are expecting their first babies. I’m so incredibly excited they’re venturing into this motherhood journey. It’s also pretty awesome that they’re great friends. They’ve have been experiencing this amazing nine months of pregnancy together. One has a craving, calls the other up, and they are off to the only Krispy Kreme doughnut shop around. They’re having baby showers, choosing strollers, planning and decorating nurseries and of course, anticipating their babies arrivals.

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These expecting moms are preparing for their babies arrival in every possible way. The cribs are set up and they envision their babies sleeping peacefully in their decorated nurseries, while they peek over the edge for a picture perfect moment. The strollers are ready and they day-dream of long walks together with their babies, bassinets facing forward so they don’t have to take their eyes off the precious humans they created. I’m pretty sure they can’t wait to hold, sniff, stare and rock their babies all day long!

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For a long time, I was the only one out of our group of friends that had children. I always felt so blessed to have friends that treat my children like their own. My best friend and baby sister are the BEST aunties to my daughters. They have watched me raise my daughters and they have seen the highs and lows of parenting. However, “Aunty” is a very different role and becoming a parent will bring on a whole new perspective.

Before they were parents

My best friend watched me moisturize once and couldn’t stop laughing at the way  I moisturized my body. I didn’t think  I moisturized funny. What the hell was so funny? She laughed expressing she never, ever, saw somebody moisturize their body so fast!

She was right. It was pretty fast. And it was pretty funny when I thought about it. I was at her place getting ready, without kids around. Yet I was moisturizing like a baby was going to suddenly start screaming or a toddler was going to need me to rush them to the potty.

Parenting did this to me.

I no longer stood in the bathroom moisturizing my entire body in a gentle, circular motion. It was more like the amazing race. Slap it on, and rub it in easy to reach places, and my feet, well forget about those!

And this rushed feeling didn’t only happen to me while I was moisturizing. It was happening in all areas of my life.

Every single day, regardless of where I was or what I was doing, I was in a rush. And sometimes this rushed, hectic feeling still takes over today.

For example, when I’m getting the girls ready for school in the morning or I’m racing to pick one up from lessons in order to get the other to lessons, all while dragging our youngest around.  “We’re going to be late” and “We don’t have time for that” have become sentences used frequently in my household.

No amount of preparation during pregnancy prepares you for the fast-paced time travel that you feel when you become a parent.

My sis and BFF will master my super fast moisturizing skills, as well as maybe even put a diaper on their babies at a restaurant without a  change table, and they may have to deal with a tantrum in a store.

Without a doubt, they will master all of these things.

My hope for them as parents

I hope that my BFF and sister recall the way I was laughed at when I moisturized. When they find themselves in that same rush slapping on the moisturizer, I hope they remember that caring for themselves even if that means taking an extra few minutes out to hydrate their skin, is important. And the guilt that they will feel anytime they feel like they need that extra five minutes in the bathroom, or the shirt at the store, time alone, or with friends, WILL take over. I hope they try to overcome the guilt and remember that being a mom doesn’t define them. There will be days that being a parent will feel overwhelming and they will lack patience but it is so rewarding and invaluable.

And since they’re going to get a million pieces of all kinds of advice from everyone, even strangers. I may as well offer them some too 😉

My advice to them

Do what feels right and works for YOU and YOUR family. 

SLOW DOWN, and enjoy every moment with your little ones, they grow so unbelievably fast. 

Don’t forget to take the time to moisturize (because as soon as you become a parent, the clock ticks at a faster pace). Before you know it a decade flies by,  and an entire decade without moisturizer is straight up… rough!

Ask for help when you need it. Because just like Charlotte from the Sex and the City movie, if you try to be the perfect parent, and are afraid to ask for help, you will end up crying alone in a closet. We all know that crying to a friend feels much better, and I hope they know they can cry to me any day because I will totally understand! 

 

I’m SOOOOOO excited for their babies arrival, but the truth is, I’m more excited to watch them love their own children.

It’s an unconditional love that can’t be explained, only felt. Their hearts will melt each and every time they look at their children and they’re going to feel emotions they never knew existed, (good and bad), and it’s all a part of this beautiful journey of motherhood.

They’ve got this. XX

 

 

 

 

 

 

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